Conversations with Ryan #1

Potholes and Profanity

After picking Ryan up from school today, I hit a pothole on the way home, because the City of Philadelphia’s roads < Dresden, 1945.

Me: [Mutters] God damn it.

Ryan: Hey, that’s a bad word you said, there, Dada.

Me: [Points] Oh look, Woogie. I think that’s a firetruck up ahead!

Ryan: Yeah, but … but, you … That word you said is a bad word.

Pause.

Me: You’re right, Woogie. That’s a bad word.

Ryan: You said a bad word.

Me: Yeah. You’re right. I said a bad word.

Pause.

Ryan: ‘Fucking’ is another bad word.

Me: [Sighs. Glances at rear-view mirror] Yeah. That’s a bad word too.

Pause.

Ryan: Why did you say ‘god damn it’?

Me: Uh, well. I made a mistake, Woogie. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. Dadas make mistakes sometimes.

Ryan: No, why did you say it?

Me: [Peers at rear-view mirror] Oh. Well, because I hit a pothole, and I, uh … I felt angry and frustrated.

Ryan: You felt frustrated?

Me: Yes. I felt angry and frustrated because the roads in this god d — Because the roads aren’t in very good shape. And because I want them to be fixed.

Pause.

Ryan: My favorite bad word is ‘damn it.’

Me: [Glances at rear-view mirror] Oh really. Is that right? Huh.

Ryan: Yeah, but I don’t say that word very much.

Me: Well, that’s good.

Ryan: I only say ‘damn it’ when I drive my car into a hole that swallows it up!

Me: No kidding.

Ryan: Yeah, the holes don’t swallow your car or mommy’s car. They only swallow my car — all the way up!

Me: [Nods] Well, that sounds like something you want to watch out for.

Ryan: Yeah. I don’t know why I say ‘damn it’ when the hole swallows my car. I don’t know where I heard that word.

Me: Uh-huh. Yeah, it’s a real mystery.